Linda Strawberry

so.. on my birthday i had to work all day! boo... and my supposed best friend attacked me in the most vicious childish way.
so.. it was rotten tomatoes.
but.. im going to have a makeup week. birthday week for everyone! everyone pig out! ready set go!
haha.
im moving out of audrey's soon.
out to an apartment where i can have my own music studio. justin and i are gonna start creating our live in art installation. haha.
:) im happy!
i just finished alot of art for the smashing pumpkins. ill show you as soon as i am done..

the kids you ran with have gone to rot
just dying as fast as they can
in bed with hot ruin
there's nothing much most people haven't seen at this point..
the destruction can get so boring
so, you are drinking shots off a pornstars ass again*yawn
in the back of some dive pretending to be 'all hard n shit'
killing any safety left
sticking your fat feet more firmly in the shit
the swollen bloated face, liquid eye sockets
its a becoming look for you..
you fall off of the table face first into your own vomit
....used to be funny when we were younger
still beating curfew and pushing each other off of the roof
drinking forties and smashing them behind landmarks
i'd steal your girlfriends and taunt you
i walked past your room once in the morning on my way out
there was some chick riding you but you didnt even know her name
maybe you weren't even conscious.. you didn't even recall it.
she was just another random way to kill time
a spinning carousel of chicks coming and going
picking up the phone was like russian roulette
it was rush hour traffic at 230..
remember when you rescued me from some filthy kitchen
blacked out and rum soaked in my ruined favorite dress
i stood stilletto boots and all under the shower head and passed out on a futon
when i woke up my hair was crusty and my feet were frozen
high glamour - ha.
those were blurry times. the catcher in the rye. and shady acquaintances

September!! i turn 27 on the 9th. and i fully plan to hide somewhere where no one can find me (but justin) and celebrate.
i am sooo happy to be another year further away from my turbulent early twenties. ever since i turned 25 my life has gotten very beautiful.
i am glad i took somewhat of a break from the internet during the month of august. i know i still posted but i didnt really think about it at all.
but since i was away i have soooooo  many things i want to rant about!!
but for today i'll just keep it to the updates. (oops as you can see below i ranted anyway. hahha .. politics..ill get you tomorrow!)
upcoming
LIP DISTORTION - still dont have a release date yet. but it will be this month and i will have it available for free on lindastrawberry.com
i dont know yet if i will have a 'cd' version. im still thinking it over.
STRAWBERRY TV- im working on this as well. i figured that it would be a good thing to make a well thought out segment every month with a song written specifically about the topic and tell you a story from my life about a particular issue i want to tackle. the heavy and the light. depression, suicide, violence, surviving abuse, anxiety, fashion, politics, pop culture..how to survive a breakup.. etc. do you have any requests for episode one?

(here comes the rant machine) i finally feel confident enough and calm enough to be the kind of artist ive always wanted to be. no smoke and mirrors. no glitz and glamour. no publicity stunts or gimmicks. i just want to be myself and have my art planted in reality as i see it. i really care about the people and things i see around me. i am afraid this cultural self esteem void we are in is more harmful to us than we realize. i worry about people who are very young coming into this world as it is. its so much less safe than even when i was 16. i would imagine its very confusing to young girls just trying to find their identity when anorexic fourteen year old girls are held up as a beauty standard and myspace is covered with girls who value themselves by how much skin they show for attention and most of the girls in the press aren't really worth idolizing because most are just fame whores with no real talent. news has been traded for gossip and no one trusts anything they hear. match this with the decline of the music industry so that the artists dont have as much mainstream access...we need better anthems..for example not katy perry's bullshit 'i kissed a girl' glamorizing kissing girls for the benefit of male enjoyment coming from a gospel singer who turned into a gimmick..being the only song getting a push from what's left of capitol records. what a culture!!.. people are selling their baby pictures for millions and exploiting their families on reality tv and it seems like nothing is sacred. its no wonder girls are flocking to jonas brothers concerts with purity rings on! it must seem like such a safe haven. im glad i was protected up to a certain point in mormon utah. i was at least 19 before i was exposed to most things. i have done, tried, lived most things people avoid. i am only grateful for those horrible experiences because they give me insight and understanding. i live in the bullshit capital of the world. hollywood. nothing in this town is solid. it terrifies that this place has so much influence. there are thousands of people falling apart doing drugs and turning to dust because they can't deal with the harsh facts of reality. even people with so called 'success' here feel isolated and as miserable as ever. it takes a certain personality type to weather this place. fame makes you egomanical and self obsessed because that's what it takes to deal with it. the industries start working on you right away if they think they can exploit you. they isolate you and try to reprogram your value system to match theirs. it makes you easier to handle. they make you feel as if you have no other choice but to do it their way. money is god. success is all that matters. but.. so what you get in a magazine or on a red carpet.. a month later who remembers and who cares? so what you get on a tv show for a few weeks.. who's really gonna remember.. and who cares? what does it mean? why does it matter? how does it help anything? what is the legacy?
aaaaaaa get me out of here! haha. we've talked about moving but its agreed justin needs to be here to chase his dreams for the time being. good friends make all the difference here and we are blessed with some of the kind that keep you planted in reality and grounded. the only upside of this place is that if you can find where they are hiding its filled with some of the most interesting talented people i've ever had the privilege to meet. that's the best thing about this year. ive finally realized who im not by trying out some different things that didnt quite fit. by watching people that i love chase fame and success at the cost of their sanity and the things that really matter. at the end of the day when you are on your death bed will you really be satisfied knowing there's alot of random strangers that are going to mourn the reflection they have of you, that there's mountains of 'money' in the bank to be contended over.... or.. is it satisfaction of a life well lived, lessons learned, a beautiful family.. you see my point?
thinking like this has totally changed my priorities.
i love writing and ranting and speaking and caring. i love music and art and all forms of creativity. i want to build up a large body of work. like warhol said i find what im worth by how many songs or how many pieces of art ive made at this point. i want to be able to count them up and know what its worth. it means i have alot of work to do and its totally up to me to accomplish it. works from the heart. i think ive wasted enough of my time worshipping false gods and chasing clouds of dust. success is what you define it to be. and by my definition i have a whole lot of work to do.
besides the fact that i want to have a family and that i believe that will be my greatest accomplishment :) i feel i have many paintings to create and many things to say and songs to sing. why would i want to go further into an industry that would make it more difficult for me to create and have these things?
that is my new train of thought. and im sure if you've been reading my blogs you have seen how ive gradually gotten here.
ok. rant over. thoughts?